


my heart was never broken, it was circumcised

by ElasticElla



Category: The Magicians (TV)
Genre: (knowledge gap), Background Relationships, Dark, Dubious Consent, F/F, Femslash February, Minor Character Death, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-10-27 23:55:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17776640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElasticElla/pseuds/ElasticElla
Summary: In one universe, Dean Fogg doesn’t let Kady into Brakebills.





	my heart was never broken, it was circumcised

**Author's Note:**

> for the [body talk ficathon](https://girljustdied.dreamwidth.org/262187.html) come write smut \o/
> 
> title from k flay's champagne

Marina is _pissed_. 

She had a plan, a good one too, that took a year of engineering. A way to get her memories back, to make her hedge witches the best by far. To have enough power- enough knowledge- to do as they please without worry. A dream that has now been absolutely smashed to smithereens, dragging her back to square one. All because of one child. 

“Hannah,” she calls, and the pathetic witch practically trips over herself, rushing to Marina’s side. 

“Yes?” 

Her lips curl up into a smile, “You remember today was Kady’s entrance exam right?” 

She nods, and Marina adds, “Your arm.” 

Hannah’s face lights up as she pushes her sleeve back, showing her stars. “My baby made it in?”

Her smile widens, “No.” 

Marina rips the bond away from the tattoos, bold x’s crossing out each star, and memories of all spellwork Hannah learned as a hedge witch fading fast. Hannah screams, blood dribbling past her nose, eyes rolling back as she faints forward- _pathetic_ \- and Marina shoves her to the ground. 

“Pete clean this up, and Ralphie go get the brat.” 

She heads over to their mini bar as the boys get to work, pouring herself a screwdriver. It feels more than appropriate today. By all accounts, Kady should have gotten into the damn school. 

The girl had years of meditation under her belt, far longer than Marina had been coaching her, had a fair hand with battle magic. She had been taught how to appear like an ordinary child, how to slip under the radar while still showing off her magic. Months of preparation for naught. 

The real question is if Fogg discovered Kady’s purpose early- unlikely but possible- or if the little rat squealed and asked for asylum. (In which case, Marina will make that memory spell look like a tropical vacation.)

Marina’s finished her drink when Ralphie returns. She’s already sent the others home, if there is new knowledge to be had, she will decide who gets to know. They’re all a touch soft, couldn’t quite hide their relief at getting to avoid a torture scene with the girl they helped raise. 

Sentimental fools- one day she will have a coven of witches without weaknesses. 

“Do you want me to stay?” Ralphie asks, face blank, and she does like him more than the others. 

“No need. I have a new mission for you, a real one.” 

“My hands are yours.” 

And if Marina were a younger girl, she might blush. He is quite the attractive man, smooth and pretty, perfect to play scout. 

“The Zealandia search, there is something or someone magical in that underwater continent. I want you to find them, learn or bring them back.” 

Ralphie grins, doubtlessly because he has family in Australia, will see them often in the upcoming months. She conjures the pouch from her room, tossing him the bag of gold. 

“This is all you’re getting. Be economical.” 

He nods quickly, “I will.” 

Marina cocks her head to the side, “I trust I don’t need to vividly remind you of what happened to the last witch that crossed me?” 

Ralphie swallows, had been the one to dispose of Molly’s body. “I won’t fail you.” 

She pats his cheek, “I know. There’s a plane leaving out of JFK tomorrow morning, you should pack.” 

He nods, “Thank you for this opportunity.” 

And things will be so much less cordial around here without her favorite minion, Marina thinks sadly. No one to temper her from Pete’s asinine comments, or-

“Go, before I change my mind.” 

He does, and Marina finally lets her attention rest on the passed out girl he brought in. Little Kady, all grown up and maybe useless. 

Marina draws a chalk circle around her, whispering a Basque barrier into existence. It’s unserviceable in most situations, requires the detained to be previously linked to the caster for over three moons and the one within’s magic powers the circle. It doesn’t take much for the circle to collapse on itself, killing its inhabitant- it was first designed for interrogations and failed miserably, bringing about many witchy martyrs.

Luckily, Kady’s memory has been wiped, won’t know how to break the circle. Marina doesn’t even need her conscious for this part. She cracks her spine and sits across from her, English and Latin flowing together as she attempts to break into Kady’s head.

It’s slow going, but Marina’s chant is continuous, her will strong. 

She is exhausted by the time it is done. The specialist did a rather good job with Kady, but couldn’t take away everything. To do so would cause harm, would leave Kady unstable at best. Sentiment, as always, an obvious weakness she’s happy to exploit. 

She sorts through the memories, those that were before she knew the girl, those while, and the tiny imprints that were left from the school. Only a magician that knew Kady well enough before she went to school would be able to find these, and presumably anyone that knew the girl that well wouldn’t want to risk her mind. (There is a reason the stars are binding, there is no tricking an ex-hedge for magical secrets. The only ones worth having they know.)

There are three faces Marina now knows, and she is certain all of them are Brakebills students. 

She pulls out of her mind, pleased. The girl is shaking on the floor, teeth chattering and drooling, eyes open, clouded white. 

Ah. At least Hannah’s debt is truly paid in full. 

Marina harvests the body, organs first. It’s been some time since she took a living witch’s organs, though she wonders if they will work as a witch’s or a muggle’s- memory is a curious thing. Experimenting then, she deserves good data after her freshman spy plan failed. 

.

Julia is _ecstatic_. 

Magic is real, her and her best friend are at a witchy grad school, and the world is so much brighter, bigger, than she ever imagined. She feels like a kid again, pouring over every spellbook she can find. She wants to know everything, craves it keenly. 

Q drags her out of the library a few times, saying school is socializing too, and how funny that they’ve neatly switched places. Quentin is the one making friends with the cool older kids, and Julia’s the one burying her nose in a book at any given moment. (There’s so many languages to learn, some she’s never even heard of, and spells for seemingly everything.)

Julia loves it. 

She breaks up with James, feels worse about how easy it is than the act itself. She loved James, she did, before. But now, there’s this whole new world she can’t talk to him about, she feels like a new person. None of the things that connected them matter anymore, and Julia isn’t going to waste time stringing him along. (Who knew magic could make one so efficient? But she only has so many years at Brakebills, has _so_ very much to learn.) 

Q insists on a birthday bash, and Julia agrees as long as it happens back in New York. She’s heard plenty of stories about how long parties can last in the physical house, isn’t agreeing to some week-long bender birthday extravaganza. 

Which is how she ends up in a club way too overpriced for back when she was a mere mortal, doing shots with Margo. Quentin went to the bathroom, and Eliot said something about not being distracted for a few last minute disco ball tweaks. Already a few shots deep, Julia doesn’t care for clarification. 

“So honey, tell me what’s your type? Q said nice guys, but what about for one wild night of fun?”

Julia chokes on air, and Margo cackles, slapping her back. “Oh you sweet thing, alright. Tall, dark and handsome at one o’clock?”

She looks, shaking her head wildly when she sees someone who could be the Dean’s younger clone. (A traitorous part of her mind insists he’s hot, but there’s no way she’d ever be able to look him in the eyes again.)

“Alright, redheaded princess? She looks nice.” 

Julia’s eyes catch on her long nails and she says, “Talons. Uh maybe we could just go dance and-” 

“Got it,” Margo declares, waving someone over. 

“Wait- I’m not-” 

“Hello gorgeous,” Margo purrs, and Julia finds her mind echoing the sentiment. The woman that approaches is dressed in all black, long dark hair with striking red lipstick, and Julia’s brain short-circuits. 

“-this is the birthday girl, Julia. Naturally you didn’t know, no gift-”

“It’s fine,” Julia says quickly, cheeks flaming, but Margo keeps talking as though she hadn’t interrupted. “-but I think a dance would suffice.” 

Margo flounces off to dance with Eliot, and oh, there’s a disco ball going now with louder music and Julia really does want to dance. 

“I’m Marina,” she says with a smile, “happy birthday.” 

“Thanks, you uh- there’s no- Margo’s very demanding.”

“Your friend?”

Julia nods, even though Margo’s really Q’s friend. Not that she has anything against the witch, except for when she’s eating chips in the library, bag crinkling with every- There’s movement out of the corner of her eye, Marina taking a shot, and now is so not the time to get lost in her head. 

“Yeah. Do you um, wanna dance?”

“You’re on birthday girl.”

They’re still dancing hours later, Julia finally recognizing the true magic of the disco ball- that as long as your feet keep moving, you feel invigorated. Julia suspects there’s going to be a nasty comedown, but right now she doesn’t care. Margo and Eliot are waltzing around the floor, somehow matching it to Britney Spears, and Q’s in a booth with a cute guy, gesticulating wildly as he talks. 

Julia wants to talk with her girl of the evening, to kiss her too, half-afraid if they stop dancing Marina will poof away. 

Marina must read her mind, leaning forward to half-shout over the music into her ear, “Wanna get some fresh air?” 

Julia agrees, Margo winking at her when she catches her eye and awkwardly nods to the door. Outside is cold, wind cutting through her purple dress easily. Marina wraps an arm around her after she shivers, and her cheeks heat. 

“Every year, on my birthday, my grandmother used to ask me what I wanted from the next year. What about you?” 

Julia blinks at the abrupt question, “What do I want to do this year?” 

Marina nods. 

“That’s kinda a big ask. Wanna walk around? And what did you say for your latest birthday?” 

“Sure,” Marina says with a grin. “I wanted to find answers. Your turn.” 

“Very mysterious,” Julia jokes, and their footsteps echo down the quiet street. All of the city noises feel muted, far away from the bubble that is Julia and Marina. 

“I um, I’ve been feeling disconnected from my old life. I recently started uh, graduate school and I don’t really miss anything from before. And I should, I feel bad enough about it-” 

“Why should you?” Marina interrupts gently. 

“Huh?” 

She shrugs her opposite shoulder, squeezing hers. “Would anyone in your old life want you to feel bad about moving on? If I were one of them, I’d only want you to be happy.” 

Julia stops suddenly, and Marina stops as well. Maybe it’s the booze or all the dancing or her birthday luck, but Julia doesn’t second guess her instincts, leaning up and kissing Marina. 

Marina tastes like cinnamon, Fireball her brain helpfully chimes in, and Marina’s hands frame her face. They stumble over to an alleyway, kissing in the shadows. Every touch sparks, and Julia’s worried her magic might accidentally manifest. But Marina doesn’t freak out, fingers threading through her hair, tugging lightly, and Julia’s moaning far too loud since they’re still in public. 

“I-,” Marina takes a steadying breath, Julia feeling inordinately proud of herself, “I have an apartment nearby.” 

“Absolutely, yes,” Julia says, kissing her again because they’ve already been apart for too long. Fire burns everywhere Marina touches her, a deep need, as though she’d freeze without her. 

Marina breaks the kiss with a breathless laugh, lacing their fingers together and walking south. “Only three blocks, I promise.” 

They’re the longest- and shortest- three blocks Julia has ever traversed. There’s some inane small talk, something to keep them from jumping each other’s bones in public, but every step it feels less necessary. (She can’t remember a single spell to hide them from passerby, should have asked Eliot earlier. He definitely knows at least two.) 

“Here,” Marina finally says, unlocking the doors, and thank god for first floor apartments. She can’t remember a coherent conversation from what they talked about on their way here, something about puppies and miniaturizing and seedpods. Julia would feel bad about spacing if Marina’s first move upon opening the door wasn’t to push her up against the opposite side, fingers cupping her neck. 

Their lips crash together, teeth clacking before their mouths refit, Julia pushing the coat off Marina’s shoulders. Marina grins against her lips, and suddenly they’re both pulling off all the clothes they can with their lips still attached. They’re naked fast, no space for the usual awkward moment of being completely exposed for the first time with a new person, Marina’s mouth hot against hers, her fingers teasing as they stroke up and down her sides. 

“Bedroom,” Julia pants against her, already ridiculously worked up. 

“Right through there,” Marina says, sweeping her up in another kiss. Marina grabs her ass, arousal thrumming through her entire body, and it’s some kind of miracle that they get to the bed without a casualty. 

Julia goes down on her first, wants to see this gorgeous girl writhing in pleasure, licks and nibbles until Marina’s oversensitive, yanking her back up. Marina’s agile fingers dip into her then, honeyed words in her ears about how beautiful she is, how anyone could have seen them walking home, how they could have done this in an alleyway and-

Julia can’t take it, her imagination coupled with Marina’s words and touch, her whole body aching with almost too much pleasure, cresting hard. She shrieks, far louder than she means too, blushing when she realizes how blaring it was. 

Marina soothes her with gentle words and kisses, pulls out a cigarette for them to share. They pass it back and forth, trading secrets. (‘Sometimes it’s easier to talk to a stranger.’ But Marina doesn’t feel like a stranger, never did.)

They’re on their second cigarette, lazing in bed. Julia’s thinking about eating Marina out again, or riding her face, or maybe using a whole fist or- 

When Marina interrupts her planning, saying, “D’you wanna see something crazy?” 

Julia nearly laughs, doesn’t even know what that would look like anymore with her new world. “Sure.” 

Marina brings her fingers to her lips doing an odd twist that makes Julia sit up, sober suddenly. Marina inhales the cigarette once more, exhaling a puff of smoke that turns into two linked hearts. 

“Holy shit, you have magic.” 

Marina smiles softly, “This is a much better reaction than I expected honestly.” 

Julia grabs her hands, “Ohmy- so do I, this is great!” 

“You do?” 

Julia puts her hands together, a small blue flame dancing in her open palms until she closes them. “Yeah.” 

“Wow, that’s awesome. I’ve only been able to do a few small things.” 

Julia swallows, “You um- there’s a magic school.” After she says it, she remembers hearing about memory wipes to the kids who failed the entrance exams and shit. 

Marina’s expression falls, and Julia feels like such an ass, saying, “Maybe there’s more?” 

She bites her lip, looking away. “It’s fine, I’ll… I dunno.” 

“I’ll tutor you,” Julia says, the offer out of her mouth before she fully thinks it through, but it’s brilliant. A small voice in the back of her mind says she’s totally taking advantage of her latest hookup to ensure they hang out regularly and exchange numbers, but really- who could blame her?

“For real? I can’t tell you how much I’d appreciate that,” Marina says, eyes bright. 

“Yeah, for sure- you have magic, you should get to use it more.” 

Marina kisses her mouth swiftly, dropping kisses down her chin and throat, along her sternum. “I’m gonna,” she starts, kissing over her belly, “show you,” the crease between her thigh and crotch, half-ticklish half-erotic, “how much.” 

And Julia intends to say she doesn’t have to, or something to that effect, the words long lost as the last bits of Marina’s lipstick is smeared onto her skin. 

“Let go,” Marina says, tongue darting into her, and sparks fly from Julia’s fingers to the air, crackling madly. 

.

Marina is pleased. 

It’s a rare thing for a secondary plan to go better than the primary, but Julia is the gift that keeps on giving. (And oh, what a giver she is.)

There is no need to break into Brakebills, not when Julia is happy to regurgitate every single thing she learns. It’s so much safer this way- no reason to risk her mind again, and she’s even learning about magic she’s positive she skipped the first time around. (She can’t imagine any version of herself reading about plant magic unless there was poison involved. But Julia brings her a curious Chinese spell about enabling flowers to bloom early, and Marina wonders how it might be edited to other things. Like eggs, like creatures.) 

They can’t possibly last forever, despite Julia’s late night hopes. They _will_ last long enough for Marina to soak up her entire education secondhand, that is the first priority. She’s been toying with the idea of decimating the rest of her coven. None of them are truly useful anymore, she’s already so many levels above them. Ralphie is still searching for magic on the opposite side of the globe, and she doesn’t even care if he fails to return. 

The charade must go on, and it would only take one errant comment from a fellow witch happening upon them. Marina frowns, hates that she’s been putting off this decision. The indecision reeks of weakness, her brain protesting that it was the safe move, in case Julia abandoned her early on. 

It’s simpler now. 

Marina has enough magic to happily survive on her own. Or survive at least.

The coven will have their stars stripped and memories tweaked. There will be no one to claim she knows about Brakebills, no one to contradict the version of herself she’s built up for Julia. 

Marina is a witch; witches make their own happy endings.


End file.
